Week 16 - The belly is emerging!

Whoa, my belly is starting to show more now! It wasn’t until the last 24 hours really, just in time for my update picture. Hehe I think it may have had to do a little bit with all of the eating out we’ve been doing this week too – not sure that’s necessarily a good thing! Either way, I’m starting to feel a bit more pregnant and am guessing I will be needing to start wearing maternity clothes before too long! I think Christmas eating is starting to get to me AND the baby! I still look down and am baffled and amazed. It is definitely starting to feel bigger now!

Yesterday we had our 2^nd clinic appointment so I wanted to wait until we went before I did my update. It was a great appointment and we actually knew a couple of people there so the time went very quickly. They weighed me in and I have gained 3.5 lbs in total (I think I gained another few between yesterday and today the way my belly seems to be sticking out today!). We also finally got to hear the baby’s heartbeat loud and clear! Yay! That was a relief. The doctor said the baby had a very strong heartbeat and was quite active (that’s the 2^nd time they’ve said that, is “active” an indication of his/her personality? LoL). She mentioned that I should be feeling movements sometime in the next few weeks. I’m looking forward to that. She said I may feel them already and I told her I think I had. When I pointed to the place where I had been feeling them, she laughed and showed me where the uterus was currently. I guess because of the size of the baby and uterus at this point, the “flutters” I was feeling must have been gas. Lol Ah well, I tried! :)

Symptoms-wise the last couple of weeks can be summed up in one word: EMOTIONAL. The tears came out of nowhere and I probably have cried more in the last couple of weeks than in the rest of the year combined. I was even crying watching Dr. Phil! I’m not an emotional person by nature, so in some ways I welcomed the ‘release’. Sunday was the last day of the impending flood, as it seemed like I was often holding back tears, and now am starting to feel back to normal again. Mentally, after that waterfall, my mind seems to have more energy and I am able to do more in the day than before. Physically, my body is still often tired, but I think it may be getting better. Hoping for that energy kick soon!

The time continues to fly by! I think mostly because of the Christmas season, the days just seem to be zooming. Sometimes I lose count of what pregnancy week I’m on! Our 20-week ultrasound is scheduled for January 4^th so I am looking forward to that. Yay!

Merry Christmas everyone!! :)

Week 14 - "Little Bean"

Our baby now has a nickname – and a friend of ours insisted he/she had to have their own nickname, so I’m sure she’ll be happy :) Baby Parker is now often referred to as the “Bean” or “Little Bean” by his/her grandma, and mom & dad. Not sure where it came from, but it has now stuck! hehe It's exciting to think that Little Bean is now sucking his/her thumb and moving around. I am looking forward to when I will be able to feel these movements!

The time seems to be going quickly now, perhaps because of the time of year. We had our first prenatal clinic appointment soon following my last entry and all seemed well. There are five doctors and whoever is on during your appointment is who you see. When I went for the first visit, they gave me a whole load of information brochures etc and did some prodding around to see if everything looked ok. I had to go for more blood work and all seems well! My next appointment will be on December 11th, which I can’t believe is right around the corner already.

Overall, I am mainly just feeling tired. I nap everyday and don’t seem to have a lot of energy, but am trying to be discerning with my time so that I can rest and listen to my body. I have gained 2 pounds so far, and am supposed to continue gaining 1lb/week for this trimester, so should start to see more of a belly soon! I am definitely seeing my belly sticking out a bit more, but looks more like I just ate a big supper, not a round baby belly yet. LoL

My appetite is slowly returning. Still not back to normal, but nice to have more foods that I like returning to my senses. Most of my symptoms from first trimester have disappeared.

I find now this pregnancy is going quickly. It seems like just yesterday my 2nd trimester felt so far away, and now it’s already here! I can’t complain, I have been blessed so far in this pregnancy in so many ways.

Week 12

I have been feeling much better since my last entry. On Nov. 1st, I woke up, got out of bed and just felt like someone flicked a lightswitch inside of me..I just felt so good and much more myself. I’ve read that it happens that suddenly, but I was only at the end of my 10th week, so didn’t expect it that early. My symptoms haven’t totally disappeared, but definitely feeling much better than before – more energy, more appetite, more positive. I wasn’t sure if it would last, but so far so good. Maybe I got lucky and my symptoms have started disappearing earlier?

So, I’m now in the middle of Week 12. This means no more Metformin medication for me, yay! I don’t mind, but somehow it feels good not to have to worry about taking them :) I am eating healthier now that my appetite is coming back, which I’m sure helps with my energy and mood. It feels SO nice to be eating better. I really wanted to before, but for some reason my stomach just wasn’t liking the thought of most foods. Nathan is super, as he cooks almost every meal, which definitely helps lots! He enjoys cooking, so I am very thankful for that !

I still feel tired at times, but it’s different than earlier in my trimester…I feel tired, but still positive, whereas before I was feeling tired and depressed. I don’t mind napping and after following the advice of many friends, I’m going to take full advantage of naps while I am still able :) I’m still looking forward to the “2nd trimester” energy kick that comes at some point? Hehe

Clothes-wise I’m dwindling. I haven’t gained any weight on the scale yet but my waistline is expanding and my clothes are barely fitting. My body shape is definitely changing! It doesn’t help that I don’t have a good winter wardrobe to begin with (my favorite is summer clothes!), so am trying not to resort to the frumpy look too much. A friend of mine gave me a whole bag of her clothes that are a size or two bigger than my usual, so that worked out perfectly for now! A few friends have also graciously lended me maternity clothes (THANK YOU!) so once I get out of the in-between stage of my own clothes barely fitting, but still no belly for maternity clothes, it’ll be nice to have a bit more selection. :)

Tomorrow is our first appointment at the pre-natal clinic! I’ll share any new updates in my next entry. Everything is going well so far! We feel very blessed :)

Week 10

Almost finished the 1st Trimester! In some ways, it feels like the weeks have been going so slow, and yet in other ways it’s hard to believe I’m almost finished the first trimester already. This last week was probably my hardest so far. I have been so fortunate not to have morning sickness. This last week the tired part really hit me. Not just tired as in the need to sleep, but just feeling my whole body and mind shut down. When it hits everything seems to take so much effort – going on the computer, reading, watching TV, conversations...pretty much anything requiring mental concentration. I think the 'hormonal' part has hit, emotions and all. It comes and goes in waves, but has been more pronounced this last week. I think maybe because I haven't been eating as healthy as I usually do, this probably doesn't help. Ironically, I’ve also been an insomniac. This is SO NOT me. Nathan’s been SO supportive, and I’ve been feeling like such a slug. He keeps reminding me that my body is undertaking a huge job right now and to listen to it. What a wise husband :)

Eating has still been tough. I never thought those words would ever come from MY mouth. The main foods I seem to be able to tolerate are rappie pie, hashbrown casserole, English muffins with peanut butter and sometimes applesauce and cereal. Thankfully, I still am ok with our morning smoothies, so feel like I’m at least getting some daily nutrition. I really hope my appetite returns soon!

It feels more and more real that there is a baby being formed inside of me. Miracle really. In some ways, hard to believe, and also just awe. I am SO thankful for the support of Nathan, my family and friends. Nathan has been phenomenal. That’s the only way I can say it. My mom has just been amazing. This baby is going to be so very loved.

Next week I’ll be going for all the blood work and then going to the pregnancy clinic. They’re also going to just double check my TSH levels for my thyroid, because they were high last year (ie. hypothyroidism) and sometimes pregnancy can set them out of whack again, so just to make sure. From there, I’ll keep the updates coming!

Week 9 - Meeting Baby Parker

This week we had our first ultrasound! Our appointment was for 10am and we arrived - me shivering because I had just finished drinking 2 Litres of cold water - and waited to go in. It all went pretty quickly. I went in first and laid down while she gelled my stomach. A few minutes passed by and she didn't say a word. Eek..I started to get a bit nervous. Finally, I just piped out "Please tell me there's a baby in there"...and she smiled and said "of course" (almost as if she was thinking, why wouldn't there be! lol). So I was relieved and grinning from ear to ear. She wouldn't let me see the screen but did her thing and then went to get Nathan so we could see together. Wow. SO neat, surreal and still unbelievable. We saw the baby's heartbeat and could see its body no problem. He/she was moving around like crazy...even the technician remarked that the baby was very active, already at 9 weeks. All I could think, is hopefully it isn't a sign of things to come! lol I asked if we could get a picture (as sometimes they don't give them this early) and she printed one off, and it didn't do little Baby Parker justice. He/She looked like a blob. lol I wanted to ask for another picture, as the ones we saw on the screen were much better, but thought that may be a little too demanding. :) The whole experience was only about 15 minutes, much quicker than I imagined, but such a great experience to finally "meet" our little one. We'll be going in for our next ultrasound at Week 20 and then we'll be doing the 3D ultrasound with UC Baby at around Week 28.

The doctor said that according to the heartbeat and activity of the baby, there is only a 1.5% chance of miscarrying from here on in. That is such great news and a sigh of relief. Everything seems to be progressing well!!

Week 8

We bought our first baby item (well my mom did :) – baby bassinet we got used (but practically brand new!). Who knew a bassinet could vibrate, play music, turn a mobile and turn on a nightlight all using a remote control? LOL I’ll be the first to admit, I am not very baby-knowledgeable. I know, this will be quite an adventure (in many ways I’m sure). Nathan & will be discovering a lot along the way. I plan to be bugging my mom, my friends and using Google often ;)

Symptom-wise I have been so-so. This last week has been the hardest. I haven’t been sick, but already feel like a wimp. The biggest thing for me has been Food Aversion 101. I even have a hard time looking at the Sobeys and Superstore fliers! The sight of food just makes my stomach turn. It’s turned into a struggle, as my metabolism has increased so much so I have been needing to eat more, but it seems like I can only think of eating one or two items each time. And they change constantly! Really hoping this only lasts a few more weeks. Talk about total opposite from what I am usually like! LOL I read that pregnant women often get food aversions to the foods they enjoyed before they were pregnant. Well for me, I LOVE just about every food, so now the opposite of that leaves me with so little choices. Maybe I should try eating cow tongue and chicken hearts. Hehe

My super-sonic smelling doesn’t help either. I can smell the ‘impurities’ in the air everywhere. Most food smells rotten to me. At night I have a hard time sleeping because the air feels so stuffy and unclean. Sometimes I need to open the window and just take deep breaths or go outside for a bit. So strange.

But the good news is, I haven’t had any morning sickness. So I know it could be much worse. My pants don’t fit, but I haven’t gained any weight yet. I swear my stomach has grown quite a bit but I think I might be just examining it too much. Hehe I’d have to say Nathan has been phenomenal. I couldn’t be more supported by such an amazing husband.

Well last night we raided Nathan’s grandparents freezer for rappie pie. Does that count as a craving? It was the only thing I could fathom putting in my mouth for some reason. Good thing for great neighbors :)

Our ultrasound is on Monday so looking forward to that! Will post again with our experience!

Week 6

The half-way mark of the first trimester. Yay! We met with our doctor following our positive test and he sent us for two HCG tests to confirm 10 days apart. It was nice to hear those official words of “Congratulations” :) So far I have been pretty fortunate. I was nervous at first because I hadn’t been feeling any different at all. Now the symptoms are starting to become more evident, but thankfully no sickness or nausea yet (fingers crossed!). The main symptoms I’ve noticed so far:
- The biggest is probably the change in my appetite. I have become VERY selective and fussy which is SO not me! I find it hard to want to eat most foods, they just don’t appeal to me. When I look in the fridge, I just think ‘yuck’. Luckily, Nathan cooks for us both so when it’s placed in front of me I’ll usually eat it just fine. But if I had to pick out what I want to eat, I have a hard time. Also, there will be a select number of foods that I will be ok to eat each day. Once I have it once though, I’m done. I don’t want it the next day. This is making leftovers a hard thing. Hehe I have definitely become a totally different person when it comes to food. Is this what normally fussy people feel like? Sheesh, I used to eat anything and everything except chicken hearts and cow tongue. LOL I know nutrition is so essential though especially at this stage, so luckily our diets have been pretty healthy over the last few years. I am trying to eat a good balanced diet each day, but am needing to find more creative ways to appeal to my senses.
- Cravings-wise I haven’t had anything that has stayed – it’s more one or two foods each meal-time that seem to appeal to my senses. It’s more the process of elimination than cravings.
- I also feel lightheadedness at times. Mainly if I get up too fast, or change direction too quickly. At times the room has moved a bit.
- I’ve also noticed my heightened sense of smell. Poor Nathan hears about this often, as I sniff around for things that need to be cleaned. LOL The worst part is I can pick up the smell of people’s breath like never before. That is no fun. Then it makes me so much more conscious of my own too! Don’t worry though, if you’re not standing right up close to me, I won’t smell you :)

Those are the main symptoms I’ve been noticing. Just in the last few days, I’ve noticed my energy has been a bit less, but it seems to be more ‘brain tired’ than physically tired. So I have been taking time throughout the day just to lie down and rest. I haven’t gained any weight, but yet my regular pants are already tight. I’ve already moved up another pant size. lol

Since we conceived on fertility drugs, we’ll be going in for an early ultrasound at to make sure that there isn’t more than one baby! I don’t think there is though, because from what I have read it seems that my symptoms would be far stronger than they are. We’ll know soon enough!Stay tuned!

Week 5

We’re pregnant! It’s hard to believe this time in our lives has finally arrived. Wow. I had an inkling I may be pregnant, mainly because my temperatures were remaining high, but I’ve spent so much money on pregnancy tests over the last few years (seriously considered investing in stocks!) because of “possible” pregnancy symptoms, that I decided to hold out and not think too much about it.

Well, not too long after we were scheduled for a follow-up doctor’s appointment, I decided I should at least go in being able to tell our doctor the news – good or not. So, that morning I got up, took the test, and voila – positive! It was both exciting and surreal. It still doesn’t really seem real! I climbed back in bed and trying hard to hold back from my pure excitement, I just played casual and told Nathan that we were pregnant. It took a minute for him to register what I said and then his face was priceless! We were so happy :)

We decided we had to tell our parents first, as this would be the first grandchild for all of them. Not to mention my mom has been stocking up on baby supplies for the last four years. Hehe :) We bought a cake that said “Congratulations Grandma & Grandpa” with some balloons and flowers, and surprised them! We feel so blessed to have both sets of grandparents fairly close, whose support will be invaluable. Nathan had a very special bond with his grandmother, so we realize the importance of having them active in our child’s life.

We debated on keeping the news quiet for at least a few more weeks, especially with the risk of miscarriage. However, after the excitement of sharing the news with our families, we realized it was too hard to keep tabs on everyone and I couldn’t bear to keep my mom silent after she had been waiting for so many years to be a grandma! So, we decided to share the news with friends and well, between Facebook and MSN, news traveled quickly!

We feel SO blessed, so thankful and so amazed at this miracle in our lives. I plan to keep this journal as a chance for our family and friends – especially those from away – to stay connected to our progress as we await the arrival of Baby Parker. Our due date is May 25th – my birthday. :)

Background Story

Around three years ago, Nathan & I decided we wanted to try to start having a family. We had been married for three years and felt like we were as ready as we could be. I went off the pill and it just seemed like things started going downhill quickly. I thought perhaps it was just all the changes in my body taking place combined with the stress of being so involved at my work. It wasn’t long before I started to feel like I was ‘falling apart’. My energy was so low, I could barely get myself through the day. People said it was probably just stress, but it just seemed like something wasn’t right. I just didn’t know what. I started to track a bit of what I was going through just to make sure I wasn’t imagining it, and I realized I was sleeping 13+ hours daily and was still exhausted. I literally could sleep standing up if I closed my eyes. I just felt SOO tired all the time.

To coincide with this, I was having other symptoms like anxiety attacks, poor memory/brain fog, depression and literally felt like my body was falling apart. Soon enough I realized I wasn’t even getting a period. I started taking my temperatures to see if they were even following a pattern and they weren’t. Nothing. If anything, I discovered my temperatures were much below normal.

So began my quest from doctor to doctor. One told me I “looked” healthy so dismissed me right away, another said I was getting too technical on him when I told him I didn’t think I was “ovulating” and a third prescribed me with depression meds within the first 3 minutes. Almost 8 months later, I found a doctor who listened. He sent me for tests and found my hormones were out of whack and my ovaries enlarged. At that time, we were in transition to move to Nova Scotia, so we decided I would take the next 5 months off and do nothing. Total reduction of stress in an effort to start healing my body.

In September of 2005, I was ‘officially’ diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome – an endocrine disorder that affects the hormones in your body. What I didn’t realize is that your hormones are responsible for the function of every organ and part of your body – everything from your brain to your liver! No wonder my body felt like it was falling apart. I was told I could take fertility meds to get pregnant, but I just felt like there was so much more happening to my body than infertility. I knew I couldn’t have a baby without first taking care of myself. I began journaling often, and getting through each day just felt like an uphill battle. Over the next two years, I worked to change my diet and lifestyle. In December 2006, I learned that my TSH levels were high indicating hypothyroidism. The levels tested back to normal a few months later. I began seeing professionals and asking questions – everyone from an endocrinologist, OBGYN and even a naturopath. I researched online, read any book I could find (not that many were published at that point) and just began talking about it. Slowly, my body seemed to be regaining strength.

Today, I am feeling much more in control. The amazing part is how many women I have met who have been dealing with PCOS. They call it the ‘silent epidemic’ that is affecting so many women in our generation. PCOS is still very much a part of my life, and something I can’t ignore, but it has taught me so much about myself, and the importance of taking care of myself. I used to be someone who was very busy, often at the neglect of things that were more important. Now I can’t be. Because if I do, I get sick. That means I need to be very discerning with everything from how late I stay up, to what I do in my day. I also need to be careful about what I eat and how I treat myself. It’s like a domino effect, and once the dominoes start falling, it requires so much effort to get them back up. Do I wish I didn’t have to deal with PCOS? For sure. But, at the same time it has become one of the greatest blessings in my life. I feel I have grown in wisdom, in strength and have realized just how unimportant so much of what I was concerned about really is.

In June 2007, we decided I was as healthy as I could be to start the fertility process. I went for laproscopic surgery and they discovered an 8cm cyst. Whew! In August 2007, I started on Clomid and Metformin to begin the fertility process and conceived on the first round. So, here we are today, expecting our first baby and God’s timing couldn’t have been more perfect. :)