Background Story

Around three years ago, Nathan & I decided we wanted to try to start having a family. We had been married for three years and felt like we were as ready as we could be. I went off the pill and it just seemed like things started going downhill quickly. I thought perhaps it was just all the changes in my body taking place combined with the stress of being so involved at my work. It wasn’t long before I started to feel like I was ‘falling apart’. My energy was so low, I could barely get myself through the day. People said it was probably just stress, but it just seemed like something wasn’t right. I just didn’t know what. I started to track a bit of what I was going through just to make sure I wasn’t imagining it, and I realized I was sleeping 13+ hours daily and was still exhausted. I literally could sleep standing up if I closed my eyes. I just felt SOO tired all the time.

To coincide with this, I was having other symptoms like anxiety attacks, poor memory/brain fog, depression and literally felt like my body was falling apart. Soon enough I realized I wasn’t even getting a period. I started taking my temperatures to see if they were even following a pattern and they weren’t. Nothing. If anything, I discovered my temperatures were much below normal.

So began my quest from doctor to doctor. One told me I “looked” healthy so dismissed me right away, another said I was getting too technical on him when I told him I didn’t think I was “ovulating” and a third prescribed me with depression meds within the first 3 minutes. Almost 8 months later, I found a doctor who listened. He sent me for tests and found my hormones were out of whack and my ovaries enlarged. At that time, we were in transition to move to Nova Scotia, so we decided I would take the next 5 months off and do nothing. Total reduction of stress in an effort to start healing my body.

In September of 2005, I was ‘officially’ diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome – an endocrine disorder that affects the hormones in your body. What I didn’t realize is that your hormones are responsible for the function of every organ and part of your body – everything from your brain to your liver! No wonder my body felt like it was falling apart. I was told I could take fertility meds to get pregnant, but I just felt like there was so much more happening to my body than infertility. I knew I couldn’t have a baby without first taking care of myself. I began journaling often, and getting through each day just felt like an uphill battle. Over the next two years, I worked to change my diet and lifestyle. In December 2006, I learned that my TSH levels were high indicating hypothyroidism. The levels tested back to normal a few months later. I began seeing professionals and asking questions – everyone from an endocrinologist, OBGYN and even a naturopath. I researched online, read any book I could find (not that many were published at that point) and just began talking about it. Slowly, my body seemed to be regaining strength.

Today, I am feeling much more in control. The amazing part is how many women I have met who have been dealing with PCOS. They call it the ‘silent epidemic’ that is affecting so many women in our generation. PCOS is still very much a part of my life, and something I can’t ignore, but it has taught me so much about myself, and the importance of taking care of myself. I used to be someone who was very busy, often at the neglect of things that were more important. Now I can’t be. Because if I do, I get sick. That means I need to be very discerning with everything from how late I stay up, to what I do in my day. I also need to be careful about what I eat and how I treat myself. It’s like a domino effect, and once the dominoes start falling, it requires so much effort to get them back up. Do I wish I didn’t have to deal with PCOS? For sure. But, at the same time it has become one of the greatest blessings in my life. I feel I have grown in wisdom, in strength and have realized just how unimportant so much of what I was concerned about really is.

In June 2007, we decided I was as healthy as I could be to start the fertility process. I went for laproscopic surgery and they discovered an 8cm cyst. Whew! In August 2007, I started on Clomid and Metformin to begin the fertility process and conceived on the first round. So, here we are today, expecting our first baby and God’s timing couldn’t have been more perfect. :)